Sunday, November 8, 2009

Should you keep secrets?

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It's true, when a man and woman marry, the two become one. So does that mean you can't keep secrets from your spouse anymore? Some says that even marriage, people need boundaries and a certain amount of privacy. A wife doesn't automatically have the right to go through her husband's wallet or a husband to read his wife's emails unless permission has been granted.

Be aware that privacy in marriage all comes down to an issue of trust. Since your relationship with your spouse is unique from any other couple's, on;y both of you can tell when it's a betrayal of trust to keep something secret or, inversely, to intrude another's privacy.

As a guidelines, ask yourself the following questions when deciding when it's ok to keep a secret:
  • Is the a harmless issue that I can keep to myself?
  • Can I honestly justify why I'm withholding it from my partner?
  • If my mate finds out about this, will it be a source of conflict?
  • If my partner could see what I'm doing, would he or she be hurt or alarmed?
After you answer the question and your still in doubt, choose openness. It's always better to come out clean than to withhold something from your partner. As one expert points out, the more that spouses need to keep private from each other, the more prone to instability the marriage will be.

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